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1. |
Lately
03:23
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Lately I've been stranded in a place that I'm not from
With a sense that I was made for someone else
The air burns like its whiskey in my chest
It reminds me that I'm more than just this flesh
Lately I've felt closer to the birds than my own soul
It's like they're singing all the songs I used to know
But they're alive while I'm still living with the ghost
Of the man that I'd become if I went home
Lately it all feels wrong
It's like I'm running down a dead end street
I've been living for myself
Off the prayers of someone else
Silence is my only friend
All my kingdoms are coming to an end
One day you wear the crown
And the next you're in the ground
I want to live for more than just right now
Lately I've been living like I'm on the wrong side of luck
Instead of doing what I can with what I've got
Well the rain is bound to fall on everyone,
But I think I might just be hiding from the sun
Oh I think I might just be hiding from the sun
I think that I've been hiding from the sun
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2. |
Give it another try
04:12
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Some men try and build themselves a name
They'll prostitute a talent for their ten seconds of fame
Now who's the bigger name down in the grave
The man who had it all or he who gave it all away
I don't want to live in the shadows
Of who I was created to be
Give it another try, don't let it pass you by
Don't leave here regretting what would have been your life
Don't let it lure you in, Only a fool forgets
It's all going to disappear, it's all going to disappear
Give up what you think you've got
Because you're leaving it here
Love is blind, at least that's what they say
Well who are they anyway?
I'm not buying those clichés
I refuse to settle for a fake
Give me love that doesn't change
Give me love that really sees
I want more than barely surviving
I say love is worth a second try
Give it another try, don't let it pass you by
Don't leave here regretting what should have been your life
Don't let them lure you in, only a fool forgets
It's all going to disappear, it's all going to disappear
Give up what you think you've got
Because you're leaving it here
Give it another try, don't let it pass you by
Because life is the thing you'll find
When you find what it means to die
Who you gonna live for, who you gonna live for in this life
Who you gonna live for, cause tomorrow we will die
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3. |
Say you'll love me
03:52
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When my body decays
I pray my heart still beats
While I’m down in my grave
I pray my love runs free
I know you said you'd always love me
But I'm asking anyway
Say you'll love me strong
Even though I'm weak
Say you'll leave the past forever in the sea
‘Cause I'm running through your fields
Following the leaves
They say you're in the wind
So I pick up my feet and hope
You'll catch me, I’m falling into you
I've fallen into you
While I’m finding my way
I pray my heart won’t faint
And when the hour is late
I pray my love remains
I know you said you’d never leave me
But I’m asking anyway
Say you'll love me strong
Even when I'm weak
Say you'll leave the past forever in the sea
I'm running through your fields
I’m following the leaves
They say you're in the wind
So I pick up my feet and hope
You'll catch me, I’m falling into you
Catch me I’m falling into you
I’ve fallen into you
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4. |
Good news
03:20
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I've lost myself
I am the ghost of my intentions to follow through
My every breath feels like the answer to a question
That's outside my point of view
Everywhere that I go
It's like they're telling a joke that I don't understand
If I could just get alone maybe I would give hope a second chance
What I could use is a little bit of good news
A song that rings true and not more stimulation
What I need is a savior that can bleed
Someone who's not using me to gain a little traction
Or cashing in on my reaction
I find no rest among the doubters or the dreamers
Only the fight to get ahead
My innocence is like a flower in the winter
My thoughts are silhouettes
Everywhere that I go it's like I don't really know
If they know who I am
If I could just get alone maybe I would give hope a second chance
What I could use is a little bit of good news
A song that rings true and not more information
What I need is a savior that can bleed
Someone who's not using me to gain a little traction
Or cashing in on my reaction
I long for so much more
Than just religion or ambition or my own way of thinking
I long for what it meant to be a Christian
Before we started selling our convictions
Is anybody ever really listening when they're living off commission
A paycheck can be a handcuff, so be careful what you love
Be careful of the things you won't give up
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5. |
Please forgive me
04:33
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Please forgive me
I criticize too quickly
And my heart is as cold as a stone
Please don't leave me
The way I leave my brother
As if his life weren't the same as my own
Why am I forever?
Why am I forever?
Running away
Running away from home
I can't shake the feeling
That I still need healing
Oh my tears voice the words I can't pray
Please come and find me
I think I might be dying
And I can't save myself from the grave
Why am I forever?
Why am I forever?
Running away
Running away from home
Why am I forgetful?
Why am I so damn forgetful?
Of all that I promised to hold
In my heart, in my heart
Of all that I promised to hold in my heart
Why am I forever?
Why am I forever?
Running away
Running away from my home
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6. |
Push on
02:52
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It was so elementary when we were young
There were no consequences to tie us up
We lived for the moment, with no second thoughts
There was no comprehension of time or cost
Then the years caught up
Our innocence became a crutch
Somewhere, somehow I’ll be standing tall
With my conscience clear and my pockets full
Until that day knocks down my door, I push on
Pilots in limbo with nowhere to go
We keep flying in circles like we have no home
Orphaned by fathers we may never know
We were raised by the T.V. and the radio
And all our best laid plans
Become our last laments
Somewhere, somehow I’ll be standing tall
With my conscience clear and my pockets full
Until that day knocks down my door, I push on
Someday I swear I will learn to fly
I’ll pull down the stars and make them mine
Until these dreams are more than thoughts I push on
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7. |
What if I die
04:27
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Everything I try holding up keeps on bringing me down
I wanna have it all together but I'm freaking out
I'm living in a world where everybody's running like hell
While heaven is standing still
But when I close my eyes
I see a different side
I'm singing
What if I love till my heart gets broken
What if I'm old but I never get sorted out
What if I try and it's still not working
What if I die without ever learning how to live
Every time I try to do right it ends up proving me wrong
I'm starring at my good intensions like a prison wall
I'm living in a world where everybody's buying what sells
Like lambs being fed by wolves
Like lambs being led by fools
But when I close my eyes
I see a different side
I'm singing
What if I love till my heart gets broken
What if I'm old but I never get sorted out
What if I try and it's still not working
What if I die without ever learning how to live
You have always been the best of me
You will always love the rest of me
Will I ever learn to love, the way I've been loved?
Will I ever learn to love?
Will I love?
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8. |
Dirty feet
04:14
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I have been out standing on the edge of things
And even from a distance I can see
Because everywhere I go I seem to notice you now
My heart and eyes conspire to believe
Jesus fill me with the light that was your love
When everything around you looked so dark
For even though you died between a pair of thieves
The only things you ever stole were hearts
I have been admiring your endlessness
And throwing all my questions in the sea
For every time I've tried to find the end of things
I've never failed to come back incomplete
Jesus help me down the road to brokenness
And not to twist your words to get my way
For even when we dressed you in embarrassment
You left the clothes we gave you in the grave
Oh, well you just started loving me
You never had a reason to
Oh, well you just kept on loving me
Somehow it's got me loving you
I have been the connoisseur of ignorance
Starving my own soul to feed my flesh
Yet even after all of my indulgences
I can't quite quench this thirst for something else
So call me to the table of your sufferings
And I will gladly join you for the feast
For even though I've trampled your benevolence to me
You still bent down to wash my dirty feet
Singing Oh how can it be
That you'd still bend down and wash my dirty feet
How can it be, how can it be
The king of heaven on his knees
Bending down to wash my dirty feet
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9. |
Spinning like a wheel
04:29
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You offer up your Sunday prayers
to make up for your Friday errors
As sleepless as the nights have been
you still keep swinging at the wind
You been looking for a place called home
That’s why you left your heart exposed
But everything you vowed to uphold becomes a tripping stone
It’s a tragedy you’re spinning like a wheel
It’s a tragedy you’re going to get nowhere
You've been spinning like a wheel
And if you're anything like me then you're thoughts are never still
You stumble into love as you trip over your fears
You've gotta learn that there's more to living than just growing old
It's about getting sober and letting go
It's about slowing down and coming back home
Figuring out that you still don't know
Are you haunted by the chance you missed?
Are you taunted by the lips you kissed?
No one told you about the danger of falling out of love
You’ve been kicking at the ocean sands
You’re stirring the same old mess
Incited by your discontent
You didn’t change a thing but you kick at it again
It’s a tragedy you're spinning like a wheel
It’s a tragedy you’re going to get nowhere
You've been spinning like a wheel
And if you're anything like me then you're thoughts are never still
You stumble into love as you trip over your fears
You've gotta learn that there's more to living than just growing old
It's about getting sober and letting go
It's about slowing down and coming back home
Figuring out that you still don't know
You're vanity is costing you your sanity
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10. |
When all I feel is pain
05:19
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When I can’t see the end of the hurt that steals my joy
Life looked all together just a couple days before
When I don’t understand why it ever had to change
I answered all my questions just to raise them all again
You are faithful when all I feel is pain
A savior when no one else remains
If all I have is taken away
You will find in me your praise
When I’ve used all my strength, building castles in the sand
It’s funny how your efforts can be so easily undone
When everything I have is just a feather in the wind
Sometimes even love can leave us broken in the end
You are faithful when all I feel is pain
A savior when no one else remains
If all I have is taken away
You will find in me your praise
You’re gonna find in me
You’re gonna find in me your praise
Even if, even if all I feel is pain
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11. |
Hallelujah
04:58
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Gone away, but my heart never left you
We’re in two places and I can’t say goodbye
Face to face it’s the way that I want it
Time and space, they keep us apart
Things that I wish I had said
Things I shouldn’t have left
Love has a way of holding on
Sometimes all it takes is turning around
Here today, we're gone tomorrow
It doesn’t change you and I
Memory fades but every so often
Something’s meant to be right
Things that I wish I had back
Things I’ll never forget
Love has a way of holding on
Sometimes all it takes is a broken heart
Hallelujah, it goes screaming right through ya
Because love isn't done just yet
Hallelujah, feel it screaming right through ya
Because love is the face of God
Love is the wine of kings and thieves
If your cup runs dry
You can drink with me
You can drink with me
Hallelujah, it goes screaming right through ya
Because love isn't done just yet
Hallelujah, feel it screaming right through ya
Because love is the face of God
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Symon Hajjar Tulsa
My music is a mix of hymns, whims, and contemplations that have come to me over the years as I have tried to honestly reflect on my own journey of belief and self realization. I hope that more than a few of them ring true with you too. Enjoy.
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